Miles to Go.

our song.

2010-12-09T18:33:00.000-08:00

Life!

This is my last semester this spring, nursing major (who isn't?). I can't believe that I actually have to be a nurse now. aahh! scary. Not that you should have any lack of confidence in my abilities ;) i will be...WE will be moving to Raleigh/Durham, North Carolina.

We, because...I'm getting married. Crazy right?! Well his name is Travis, which I'm sure facebook could tell you. he's great. he really is. our story... well we met at milligan, my first semester there in fall of '08 (you're getting the WHOLE story, dates and everything. lucky you!) to be honest, my first impression of him was that he was super hot, but a little strange. We became acquaintances, our friend groups were friends. But pretty much from the first moment I met him, he was on the I'm-never-going-to-date-him list. We didn't converse much until that spring semester '09 when we went camping with a group of friends. He was driving alone so I volunteered to ride with him. (No ulterior motives I promise) This is actually when he started to like me. We spent 2 hours in the car getting to know each other, it was nice but I spent the rest of the weekend being annoyed with him. i know right? i'm a great person. anyway, he was quietly interested in me, didn't really tell anyone. he had something going on with another girl, i was distracted by another guy. Both were one of those complicated-we're not dating-you like me-sometimes i like you relationships. Things went on like this until halfway into the next semester, fall of '09, when we started to become much better friends. His "thing" with this other girl was over and mine was ending rather badly. It was around this time that I broke my nose (long story, rugby type game, it's fabulous) and had to have nose surgery back in St. Louis as a result of my insurance. He offered to drive me back to St. Louis, allowing me to study for this wicked nursing class i was in, he went with me to my doctor's appointments, anything to help me out. And i realized, wow, Travis is such a nice guy. Thanksgiving though, is when things really changed. I knew he lived in North Carolina, and I was visiting Jenn and Daniel in Raleigh, so I asked him if he lived anywhere near them. He didn't, but he told me "oh yeah! no problem, I can drive you". We drove up to Raleigh and upon arriving at Jenn's house, he didn't leave right away, staying for an hour, just talking with us. As soon as he left, Jenn, being the loving older sister she is, immediately started questioning me concerning our relationship (apparently she realized what everyone else had, he liked me and I was completely oblivious to the reality of life). "Soo, what's going?!" "Nothing, Jenn" completely incredulous that anyone would question this completely innocent relationship. "I don't understand, do you not find him attractive? is he not nice?" "no he's attractive and he's incredibly nice, I just don't like him" "I don't get it! you two are going to date, fall in love, and get married" Okay crazy! Yet on the way home, I was wondering...could this work? Yet ten minutes into the car ride back to school, I thought, absolutely not. This continued through winter break, do I like him? absolutely not. Until the end of January, I finally admitted it...We began to date, I fell in love, somehow, someway. You always wonder who that mysterious man will be that you will one day marry. It only took me two years, many doubts, and even more questions from people who realized the truth before them to see that it was trav. somehow, he was patient and loving enough to never push me or even ask me on a date until i was ready.

He proposed by taking me back to the places he had on our first date. The last place was an overlook in the mountains, a place I had always secretly loved and the place I even more quietly wanted him to propose to me. He took me there at sunset and proposed.

Somehow God knows me, sees me, and loves me. He's brought me here and it's intimidating standing here, ready to graduate and move, but if there is one thing I know, I know the love of Jesus Christ. That's enough right? Somehow, He will always be more than enough.

what i am loving right now...

2010-07-23T00:33:00.000-07:00

chandeliers.

birdcages.

mismatched photos/frames

white with a splash of color.

2010-06-02T22:59:00.000-07:00

wow. i am really bad at updating this thing.

so lately.

i have been restless, anxious, a little desperate. this summer, i am home. earlier this year i had begun planning a trip to india. my dream. two months working with girls rescued from the sex trade, living in a home, learning a marketable skill. one which will give them dignity, reclaim their sense of person. and i couldn't/didn't go. i don't know. i can't look back with regret, i can't do anything about it now.
yet now, i am a little desperate. i was so anxious today, looking for an organization (not so much the organization but children, children who need someone, anyone to care) in which i could invest. i feel so unfulfilled, restless, empty.
yet,
i am finding...well, as Christ has so lovingly pointed out, where is the trust in my Saviour? it is far too easy for me to forget that God loves me.
HE loves me.
and because He loves me He has not forgotten about me. He sees me where I am. He has not forgotten about me, leaving me in the desert, in a constant state of being unfulfilled.
so i'll wait. i'll trust Him. He sees what is beyond my vision. He cares beyond my knowledge. He is bigger than my foolishness. He is the Alpha and Omega. He can handle it.

2010-04-26T21:07:00.000-07:00

bears all things.
believes all things.
hopes all things.
endures all things.

love

oh how i love 1 cor 13.
i love reading this and attempting to understand how this looks in actual life.
just think about it.
love. hopes all things.
one single attribute.
it is so easy to doubt one another. to arrogantly assume the worst of one another's actions.
but love
it hopes for the best in the other. it always assumes the best. can you imagine what that would look like if we practiced that in our daily lives?
oh love.
it's crazy.
it's beautiful.

2010-03-29T13:49:00.000-07:00

so here i am again.
lately i have been thinking quite a bit about judgement, loving people, loving God.
i have been so convicted about how little i love people. i spend so much time sitting back judging people, putting up walls, i don't have time to love them. i use and manipulate people. so many of my relationships are centered around what i can get from them.
and it's just so ugly.
who am i?
when you look at jesus, the love which he displays....oh it's beautiful.
1 cor 13. when you think about each characteristic written- "it always protects, it always trusts, it always hopes, always perserveres". oh how beautiful is that? the love defined in this chapter is the love to the fullest which He has for each one of us. for each of us!
he always perseveres.
he always hopes.
he "keeps no record of wrongs"
oh. Lord teach me to love.
teach us to see each other.

2009-12-21T10:54:00.000-08:00

so, remember when i said i would write a blog every week?
eh.
i suck.
sorry?
so this is totally for you jenn.
1. i crave chocolate chip cookies and thai food every single day. for real. every day. it's awful (and completely ridiculous) because johnson city doesn't really have very good thai food. but the heavens love me because it does have my favorite cookie cake place. mmmhmm. thank you cookie cake gods.
2. my newest music fix is john lennon. "imagine" hooked me. for real cliche...but sometimes things are cliche for a reason...because they are really that good.
3. the only thing that i truly want to do with my life beyond all else, is travel to the dirtiest, poorest place on this earth. live there and show the children who have been abandoned, abused and broken, that there is Hope. communicate Love, the only Love, to them. that they are worth more than what can be taken from their bruised bodies. that's it.
4. did i mention that i love thai food and chocolate chip cookies?
5. there is nothing like dirtbiking down a muddy country road in the rain on a windy day.
mmm such a good feeling.
6. i readily admit that i am "misadventure prone" (my made-up pc term which actually just means that sometimes i just stop thinking and get into ridiculous situations or just accident prone). i can't help it. whatever. makes life exciting right?
7. my nephews are the cutest.
ever.
love you!

2009-11-16T07:53:00.000-08:00

"I believe I can fly, I believe I can touch the sky.
I think about it every night and day,
spread my wings and fly away.
I believe I can soar".

Normally I dismiss this song as maudlin sentiment. People today take themselves too seriously. The phrases, PC, self-esteem, self-actualization, individualized learning styles fly around, normally driving me crazy.
Yet this same song brought tears to my eyes last Saturday night. I listened as a homeless man named Stephen sang. Stephen sang of his hope. His hope that someday there would be no more homeless. That someday there would be no more orphans. Someday he would no longer tread the streets in the night, hearing the groan of humanity, the derision of the privileged, searching for a place to lay his head. Someday.
I don't think I'll ever hear this song again without thinking of that night, sitting on the pavement outside a bar as I listened to a man named Stephen.

2009-10-28T16:29:00.001-07:00

So last night my roommate and I were watching a show on TLC. This woman was getting ready to go to a wedding with her husband and she told him that she wanted him to wait. She went to try on the three dresses she was deciding between and wanted his opinion. She tried on two dresses, then said, now which one? He said....mmmm, I like them both. She then went to try on another dress asking again...which one. He repeated that he liked them all. She made him pick a favorite then replied I'm just going to take them all.
Cracking up with laughter, my roommate and I could only have the grace to be ashamed for the female race. This scene was way too familiar. We are complicated.
We have no idea what we want. BUT....
we want you to tell us what you want, then completely disregard that.
This is one example of thousands.
I'm immensely grateful to be a girl. God definitely knew what He was doing.
I would probably be celibate if I were a guy.
girls.
are complicated.

2009-10-10T12:21:00.000-07:00

getting older is a funny thing, you desperately want it, seeing the "freedom" which it holds, anger at your youthful restrictions, and feeling your immaturity. when it finally begins to arrive, it arrives with a vengeance and you realize that the wishing was futile, wasteful. now is precious. wherever in life you are. now is beauty. getting older is rather irreversible. it can't be changed, slowed or stopped.
one thing that really struck me is the obsession of youth with beauty.
the physical is of such importance when one is young. spending untold amounts of money, hours upon hours striving for the hollow satisfaction of the world's standard of beauty. now i look around at those beyond their teens, twenties, thirties and I see wrinkles, gray strands, bent backs. Beautiful in their own right, but according to society, no beauty is to be found. that which we strive for is so fleeting. yet as a teen physical appearance was of the utmost value, determining even your social status. sad.
this video shows the mirage we spent our lives pursuing.

2009-09-29T15:37:00.000-07:00

jenn! i'm sorry i haven't updated for so long. in about two weeks!
so.
hello!
life has just been rather...intense these past few weeks. each day these past two weeks i have been forced to say, God I cannot do this. i cannot do this. i need you Jesus. i just need you. you know what? sometimes that is so beneficial. i can't face tomorrow without the Lord. he is faithful and stumbling along in my foolishness, he teaches me to take life one day at a time. no worrying about tomorrow, next year, could haves, in case ofs, what ifs...none. i can't control anything so there is no sense in trying.
we have fall break in a few days and I couldn't be any more prepared to leave milligan.
really i just want to relax and eat thai food. maybe have a margarita. mmmm...
God is good.

2009-09-12T16:18:00.000-07:00

this past Friday i started working at Girls Inc. it's an after school program primarily designed for girls, but my specific site works with both genders.
let me tell you... there are some precious children at this school. this five year old boy led me to the realization that someday i want a curly, mop-headed little boy. you know those boys...the ones with the floppy big head of curly hair. So cute. or i'll just take will smith's little boy in pursuit of happyness, that may require a leetle more work and a few years in a state pen...well a girl's got to do...
this job is actually going to require some outside work which is a little bit discouraging. i have to teach a couple classes, design some lessons for them. i'm really hoping it doesn't take up too much time. i don't want to be stressed out because of a part time job. but you know what? i'm glad to have this job. tutoring kids is something which i actually enjoy, so getting paid for it? amazing.
one thing that's rather hilarious- i have to teach a sports class to the boys. there are only three girls working at this specific program and the other two don't really like sports. i actually enjoy sports so i'm actually probably the best choice. which is hilarious. oh geez.

2009-09-06T10:31:00.000-07:00

So I don't really remember when the weekly blog update had been decided. Nevertheless, I'll start now.
So I'm watching Into the Wild [finally] now. and I'm reading the book next. I normally read books before the watching the movie, not as a principle, it simply happens that way. But my friend Phil said don't watch the movie first, you'll be disappointed with the movie after the book. This way, the movie will be great and the book will just be even better. I never considered this. Thanks Phil.
books.
I could speak forever about books, ones worth reading, ones which failed to live up to my expectations, ones I could barely slough through, ones which changed my life, ones which made my life.
having no television in our home growing up was sometimes difficult as a child in the public school system. it's a hard thing to be different as a child. but this difference was more than made up for with the hours spent outdoors with my brothers and sister, the thousands of stories i devoured all the day long.
it was worth it.

2009-08-28T10:31:00.000-07:00

The time has come. due dates. 5:30 am wake up calls. miles upon miles of reading. thousands [literally] of nclex questions. the persistent anxiousness of nursing students. making beds, washing bodies, inserting tubes, cleaning indecipherable body fluids.
nursing school has returned to my life.
eh.
this year [yes only three weeks in length, but seemingly longer] has been relatively good. some sadness, some drama, some confusion, but such is life and i know that it will continue throughout the year. i have some trepidation, some excitement, some fear, some heartache, some longing.
but above all i have the hope, the life, the joy, beauty, the constancy, and faithfulness of Jesus Christ here with me now and evermore.
no personal failure too great which He cannot overcome.
no relationship too broken which He cannot mend.
no test too challenging which He cannot aid.
no desire too overpowering which He is not sweeter still.
so hey. bring it on.

2009-07-06T21:41:00.000-07:00

going to europe was such a precious time for me. not because of the masterpieces i experienced, the scenery i imbibed, the people i loved, as amazing as they were. going to europe simply refreshed my perspective. the sole reason i am going through the absolute joy that nursing school tends to be, is because of the calling of God upon my life, the passion and dream of my life.
there are millions of children in this world. dirty, abandoned, betrayed. their lives a mockery to the human race. children who must commit unspeakable, disgusting acts simply to put food into their mouths. to debase themselves to such a level that people no longer see them as humans, simply to live see another sunrise. what has become of this world?
God is their justice. He will one day wipe away all tears from their eyes. this is my hope. this is my dream, my ambition. that i will go somewhere in this hell of a world and hold a child in my arms and let them know, there is One who knows their name. There is One who loves them beyond all understanding. unbelievable as it may seem.
in europe there was a little boy who thrust his body at me, begging for money, for food. i had nothing to give him and oh.
someday.
someday i will have more.

2009-06-16T12:31:00.000-07:00

I just got back from Europe. I loved it!
I saw and experienced things I never dreamed that I would. viewed the actual Rosetta Stone. touched the Eiffel Tower. ate an orange off a street in athens. walked barefoot through the crooked streets of venice. was rained upon in the coliseum. and....
played air band at a Hitler Youth amphitheater in Germany.
visited the birthplace of my man Sherlock on Bakers Street.
threw coins in the Trevi Fountain at Rome.
wore this awesome outfit into a salt mine in Austria
played in the water fountains at the Louvre in Paris.

It was amazing.

2009-04-30T13:03:00.000-07:00

look at m college. isn't it neat?

all of the land, so pretty and sweet.

with miles of grass green as can be.

stately brick buildings to impress you and me

all of the students teeming with life

eager for learning, finding husbands and wives

now look at the gregory center new and pristine

it's walls and halls pure and clean

look out front and maybe you'll see

the huge marble rock, white as can be

a rock upon which the words of John reside

The words of humble Jesus displayed with pride

a rock, merely $10,000 in price

Oh no. A lowly $5000 would never suffice.

Never mind the words of Jesus the Meek

Warning to never forget the oppressed and the weak

It surely must be a joke those who say

That 50% of the world lives on less than $1/day

I see no children starving on the street of Roan

I see no injustice I hear no moans

For indeed we have the Scriptures carved upon

Our duty is done, our responsibility gone

Come! Let us leave this rock

And of far more pleasant things we shall talk.

Smell the blooming flowers, fragrant and sweet.

Look at our buildings, so tall and neat.

2009-04-14T15:24:00.001-07:00

Sorry Jenn. I love you and this is why I'm updating.
Life is grand...you know...lovely and all that.
I am oh so ready for school to be done with for the semester. While I'm really enjoying clinicals...crazy as that is...I'm done. Nursing school is hard. It just is. I found that I am surprisingly enjoying myself. I don't know how or why. However I'm ready to see my family, ready to go to Europe, ready to sleep, ready to see my friends, ready for summer nights. I'm just ready.
It will be over soon.
I love you all.
I wish that I could see you.
Nonetheless.
I love you.

Thirst.

2009-01-27T13:56:00.000-08:00

I have realized this semester a strange feeling, one which I have never experienced before. A desire and thirst for knowledge, for learning. Having long viewed the world as a fascinating place, chock full of mystery, I have never quite taken the leap towards a love of all things scholastic. School has always come rather easily for me, as a result I have never be one of those blessed with determination, ambition and a love for knowledge. All due to my own laziness. The humanities course which is a requirement for any student at my school tends to be rather intense. It is a melding, a composite of the history, culture, peoples, art, literature of the past. Classical, Hellenistic, The Allegory of the Cave, humanism, the Golden Age of Democracy, Charlemagne. I love it all.

"I acknowledge and do not deny that you loved me before I existed, and that you love me unspeakably much as one gone mad over your creature...The more I enter you, the more I discover, and the more I discover, the more I seek you. You are insatiable, you in whose depth the soul is sated yet remains always hungry for you, always thirsty for you."
Catherine of Sienna

2008-12-29T19:57:00.000-08:00

life can be tiring at times. draining. this break has left me with a multitude of emotions. it has been "the best of times; the worst of times".
relaxation has been nice. there is no joy as in the knowledge of a complete lack of nursing classes on a monday morning at 8 am or cramming for yet another humanities exam. freedom.
family has been rather nice as well.
food per usual has been fantastic.
i have learned so much about how to treat people, my own vanity, the perspective of love which God has showered upon us. it's an exceedingly difficult thing to love those who reject you, humiliating. but what joy to be drawn deeper into the immense love of God as a result.

2008-10-30T10:22:00.000-07:00

I can't wait for Thanksgiving.
And for Christmas break for that matter. I can't wait to see you Jenn!
But,
I really love it here. Really love it. The entire process, the culture and attitude of the students here have been...erm, challenging.
God has provided above and beyond anything I could have imagined here. Friendships, mountaintops, accents, Motos, the list continues. The mountains, gorgeous. You have no idea the sunsets I see every night.
I still miss STL I just don't think about it every day.
but Bee, I can't wait for Qdoba over Thanksgiving...hopefully. at least over winter break.
I'm watching Tyra (America's Next Top Model, but I call it Tyra because it is really all about Tyra Banks.) and they are so dramatic. But the show is still awesome, I'm not gonna lie.

Only God can Judge.

2008-09-17T05:22:00.000-07:00

Abortion.
What a heated topic. The conservative faction of our country invests millions of dollars opposing it, the liberal, millions of dollars supporting it. There are even some for whom this is the only subject for debate, the only standard by which to judge our (soon to be) elected representatives. If they aren't pro-life, then they aren't happenin'. Looking at pictures of a child in a mother's womb, the thought of abortion makes me sick. If a pregnant mother were killed, the murderer would face two counts of murder. Yet if the mother wants that baby gone, it's "her right". What hypocrisy. I saw a shirt the other day reading "If we killed it with a gun would it make a difference?" a gruesome, yet revealing thought.
However for those who believe that pro-life is the ONLY issue, the lives of those in the womb is the only one worth fighting for... what about the lives of the ones killed in warfare? Those nameless children in Iraq are children nonetheless, those brave American and dare I say it...Iraqi soldiers are sons and daughters who will never come home for Christmas. Some say that you can't be a Christian and vote against life and if we're being recklessly honest, you can't vote Democrat. Well I ask how is it that you can be so vehement and righteous for the sake of one life and yet care nothing for those innocents who fall due to warfare? Because you cannot see their faces. Foolishness. Absolute foolishness. Who are we to decide who lives- and who dies.

Home is where the <3 is.

2008-08-21T21:50:00.000-07:00

So My new residence is:
Hannah Dodorico Milligan College, Tennessee....etc...or is it ect... I can never remember.
I'm now a resident of Tennessee, can you believe it?
I really think that Tennessee is THE most random state I could live in. I have never met anyone from Tennessee before this.
But it's gorgeous country. I love walking down the hills and gazing at the mountains. Love, love, love.
And the accents....WHEW! so precious. I know that I'm going to have one by the time I come home for Thanksgiving. It's been a grand total of one week and I can already feel it creeping in. I'm completely not fighting it.
It's been completely overwhelming, just way out of my element, however I'm really starting to enjoy being here. I know it's only been one week, but I have met some incredible girls.
I miss you all back home though. I can't believe that Isaiah will be walking by the time I see him next. It makes me want to cry just thinking about it. I love you all.

Hosanna,

2008-07-09T23:27:00.000-07:00

Overwhelmed with my sin tonight, one of those moments where my foolishness had left me in the depths of despair, despair at my seemingly neverending sin nature, I opened Watchman Nee's book, The Normal Christian Life. And it seemed as if our gracious Father had dropped these words of solace into my lap, to soothe my stricken heart.
"the sense of sin and guilt can become so great, so terrible as almost to cripple us, by causing us to lose sight of the true effectiveness of the Blood. It seems to us that our sins are so real, and some particular sin may trouble us so many times, that we come to the point where to us our sins loom larger than the Blood of Christ.... I may be mistaken, but I feel very strongly that some of us are thinking in terms such as these: 'Today I have been a little more careful; today I have been reading the Word of God in a warmer way, so today I can pray better."
Oh. How long have I struggled with this. SO much of the time, unknowingly. My approach to God has to be based upon the Blood, for its value has been declared by the Lord God Himself. My approach must not be based upon my "spiritual performance" of the day. That is not the basis upon which we come before Him. No. we come in boldness for He has imbued the Blood with this validation. Oh what FREEDOM! Oh blessed liberty.
If you can grasp hold of this thought despite my rambling, you will be blessed.

Frustration:

2008-06-18T14:48:00.000-07:00

Gas prices went up 15 cents...surely the United States has people intelligent enough to do something about this. If we can invent a toilet that plays a video game and requires shooting streams of pee at the enemy space jets- then surely.
Milligan restructured their humanities department... which means they suddenly changed my requirements from three years to four. Another year, another $24 grand, another day spent away from where I want to be. It could have been avoided. They told me it would take me three years and then Mrs. Collins sent me an e-mail saying it will now take four unless you take summer classes. She told me this a week ago. Summer registration for classes closed forever ago. No apology, no how can we make this work, just this is what you have to do. Never mind the time in which she told me made it impossible.
I'm frustrated.
with more.
I'm going to stop however...take a deep breath....one, two, three... God is in control.

2008-05-18T00:07:00.000-07:00

I'm such a fabulously, consistent bloggerer...er?

I had my last tutoring day, night-really last everything for North City last Tuesday, ...and it's "too late to 'pologize, it's too late." errr...moving on.

Here's some fantastic pictures....done by...(dun-dun-dun) yours truly. I know, I know. all stand in awe....donations are accepted. I can't even convey all that I have learned as a result of living down in the city. I began to see the beauty of life and the complexity of the issues surrounding the city, racism and poverty. Immeasurably blessed as a result of these people with whom I have lived and served with, these kids whom have been beaten down by life over and over again, yet can still find it in their hearts to love a foolish girl from the suburbs. Thank you Lord.

2008-04-23T22:33:00.001-07:00

I'm confused. Pray for me please.

But God is good. So wondrously, fantastically, good. So I trust Him.

....

2008-02-12T22:27:00.000-08:00

I'm so bored.
And I just figured out how to download the pictures from my phone to here... amazing.
so here you go.
Uh-oh. Mom is smuggling. She's a smuggler...what a funny word. smuggler.
What an adorable baby. Good work Becks.
Hahaha! I go to a small Christian college...Voila.
This is Bob.
I really love Bob.
I love sunsets as well.
And I love these two.

Now that I have figured this awesomeness out, be prepared.

the loneliness.

2008-02-01T13:30:00.001-08:00

I feel like I should warn you that a lot of my entries will be about the ghetto, the poor. This is where I am living. These are the issues that I am concerned with. I guess I feel that my entries should be happier, less troublesome. But that's not what is going on in my life. It seems that the things which are going on in my life right now are things full of sadness, full of burdens. Thank God that in Him is found hope. My only hope.
Did you know...
that the word "ghetto" means loneliness?
how fitting.

It’s called “the loneliness”

A more apt name not to be found.

A loneliness brought about by hardness

Of souls and guns

Brought about by weakness

Of the children’s fathers and the governing forces

A loneliness brought by a lack of education

Of the church members in their pews and the youth who drop out

Brought about by fear

Of “the loneliness” itself and of losing what’s theirs

A loneliness brought about by disrepair

Of the decrepit buildings and the system

Brought about by us.

By you and I.

Let the children not be lonely anymore

The ghetto.

“The loneliness”

A woman named Nika.

2008-01-21T12:20:00.001-08:00

Some of you may know that I live in the inner city as part of a program for my school, the Walden Park, Mark Twain neighborhood to be specific. The neighborhood itself had the most murders in the entire city of St. Louis last year, the people here are crying out for hope. Five of us college students live on this beautiful old Catholic compound, complete with a school, house, convent and breathtaking sanctuary. It's really an incredible opportunity to live among the people I have been called to serve.
Anyway today while we were eating lunch, we heard a knock at the door. It turned out to be this adorable bubbly woman named Nika who needed some "personal girl things". Hearing this, the guys awkwardly turned her over to me and my friend Haley. We gave her the basic sanitation needs, toothpaste, toothbrush, tampons, deod. etc... Thanking us profusely for everything, she put everything into a black trash bag and slung it over her shoulder. As we stood there I was struck by that image, this black trash bag and this woman. This black trash bag. That was all that she had in the world. Everything. And she was grateful. No home, no stability, security, no place to rest. Just this black trash bag.
That's why I'm here.

Does anyone want

2008-01-16T16:39:00.001-08:00

I dunno. I just don't know.
I hate making decisions like these.
where should I go to school, when should I go. Is this what I really should be doing. Is this really what God wants me to be doing? Maybe I should just flip a coin ya know?
all right it's decided. I'll flip this sad little 1972 penny.
Heads I go to Milligan this fall.
Tails I go sleep in a box in China.....
bummer. cardboard it is.

Life is Exciting.

2008-01-02T22:24:00.000-08:00

Life is exciting. I'm just wondering where life is going to take me, where God is going to lead. Vast, with endless possibilities, the world is before me. Not to say that I have these grand visions for my life, I don't. It's simply that there are so many cultures to taste, so many personalities to meet, sunsets to drink in, changes to happen. I want to experience so many things, dive into life. And beyond all this, I have the blessed promise of the presence of God Almighty. How wonderful. Beyond words.